| i'm so frustrated right now. with everything.
that and i basically fucked up a friendship that i no longer have. i guess i just have to cut my losses and move on.
life i guess.
i need a break. | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | Current Music: | underOATH- Writing On The Walls | | Time: | 12:57 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/tired.gif) tired |
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| | This week has been pretty okay considering i've been a major hermit lately. Tuesday, my sister, Matt, Lisa, and I went to see nine inch nails. It was a really good show except for the fact i had a horrible migraine the whole time. The light show just made it worse and eventually i had to leave the pavillion. The parking lot gets so backed up at nissan pavillion after those kind of concerts and it takes forever to get it out which was annoying as hell. Thursday me and Nick went to WARPED TOUR. It was okay. We only got to see three bands we liked: from first to last, armor for sleep and thursday. The first two bands weren't even good. The kick out of being there was the fact that we were like celebrities. We were signing autographes, getting our pictures taken left and right, being video taped, being mistaken for bands. It was great. Also saw alot of friendly faces. Friday we went to sonar for my return. It had been about a month since i'd been there. I had a blast, and got drunk as hell. Everyone is going to hershey park on wednesday. I wanna go but i don't have any money.. well the money i have is going toward rent and the phone bill... lame but shit happens i guess. I really want to go on a trip, to anywhere really. Ocean city maybe? or the mountains in Virginia. Something far away from here. Tonight i'm here by myself, pretty bored. Everyone went out to the bar, but with no money and me not being 21 it's a little hard i guess. Makes me feel lonely, but at the same time i enjoy the peaceful setting. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| remembering never was fucking amazing, as always.
the end.
we drove like 2.5 hours but it was worth it.
thx lisa <3
nick get hit pretty hard in the forehead but he's a survivor haha.
bury your dead was really good too. i hated the first band, we didn't stay for devildriver because it was way too fucking hot, we were too tired and stuff. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | this week had its ups and downs, but the ups defintely made up for it. lisa and i went to see boys night out tuesday. my god, they were great. i love that band so much. i really hate when bands leave the stage and then come back and play an encore. they were honest and were like: "we have two songs left, thats it, nothing else." they also played a torrid love affair, for which they promised to never play again. that made me happy. wednesday we went to six flags in new jersey. it was pretty fun until the end. i got kind of upset about something, and i guess it affected everyones mood. i didn't mean for that to happen, i still wanted everyone to have a good time. i didn't really do anything thursday cause everyone went out to bar, and my sonar adventure on friday ended abruptly when i tryed to kick nick in the face, slipped and fell straight on my hand. that fucking sucked, i've been in alot of pain lately, but it's slowly going away. saturday i almost got fired from my job because i had off of work, and management said i was on the schedule. fucking ridiculous. too much drama, they finally got over and things were cool but i'm gonna put in my two weeks. on a bright note i went to a family party thingy on saturday and got to see alot of people i havent in awhile. my cousin is going through some shit right now and i'm just glad i can be there for him. we played flip cup and got drunk as hell. the old people beat the younger ones.. what the fuck? haha that night me, lisa and heather went to this bar in timonium so they could meet their step brother. i guess i didn't figure on it being a bar and i had a bad time. i wasn't really social. i could have made the best out of the situation, but i didn't. i think next time something like that comes about i'll be a little more open about it and just try to have fun because i'm with my friends. lisa and i talked about it for awhile, we had a long conversation about things on friday as well. we've got our problems to work out i guess. eventually things will be right. i really hope so. sunday i worked and then we both went to my aunts house again, only this time there were a totally different group of people there and i was very thrown off so i drank haha. it was cool, my family are a bunch of fun drunks. i've come to realize that shit happens. if i'm brought down by something or i feel horrible. i can get over it, pick myself up and just keep going. i think the best piece of advice i could have ever received the other night was the the fact that if i sit around and feel bad or i'm miserable, the best thing to do is make best of the situation or whatever is going on. i defintely appreciate constructive criticism. i know sometimes i don't receive things well, but i hear it, i understand it. you got through to me <3 | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | from first to last- shame shame | | Time: | 10:35 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/angry.gif) irritated |
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| things aren't as bad as they could be, but right now i could about shoot my fucking brains out. i'm quitting my job i've decided, i'm so sick of miscommunication and people not telling me i'm doing anything wrong when i am. if i'm fucking up, tell me, don't send in a middle man. i acknowledge when i'm doing something wrong. ugh. i lost my phone today.. ridiculous, its outside in a field somewhere. i'm gonna go look for it again tommorrow morning. if i don't find it i'm gonna have to cut it off and get a new one. lame. lisa and i went to ocean city this week. it was so nice. the ocean is so beautiful and the weather was just right. hopefully i'm going to boys night out tuesday. i guess it all depends on how i feel that day. of course it is my favorite band though. i dyed my hair green, it's different but i like it. i needed a change. i just needed something different period. but my favorite color is still red. anyway here's a picture or two.
tell me what ya think : ) | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| the weeeeekend was nice. i had a fun time at sonar as always.
stayed in saturday night.
worked sunday.
saw thursday on monday.
they are amazing live. minus the bear was good too. i hatehatehate mewithoutyou.
poison the well and underoath the next night.
ptw was great but we really didnt stick around for underoath.
i was just soooo fucking tired.
i finally have off today. one time in two weeks. fucking lame : )
but oh well.
heh. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | scarlet- the seperation of | | Time: | 11:51 am |
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| sonar was a blast last nite.
luke is the man. thats all i have to say.
we did too many shots haha.
chocolate cakes shots are wayyy too good though.
say anything at fletchers tonight.
oh and i might be moving to bel air soon.
and getting a job up there. but i guess i'd be further away.
sucks but it seems like a good fit for me.
more later. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Ligeia- I'm Sorry Your Ugly | | Subject: | are you happy. | | Time: | 10:52 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) happy |
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| | things have been pretty fantastic lately. i'm happy for the first time in awhile. nick moved in yesterday, i'm glad i have my best friend back again. its like we never lost any time. things are so chill now. i love living with people who are so down to earth, especially lisa i love her to death, and thanks to her i met a pretty amazing person in luke. we've hung out like 4 times this week. we're going to underoath/poison the well/as cities burn/spitfire may 9th. that should be amazing. my jobs going well now. everyone loves me, its a good enviroment. tina left for florida friday, sucks : / but we will hang out soon! no complaints once i start learning this tech support stuff and nick shows me how to do his work ill be making some extra money. errrr im tired. nite <3 | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| i'm already being singled out at work. its really fucking irritating. some asshole at work saw the gauges in my ears and upper managment caught wind of it. now they are trying to strip me of everything. i already have to take out all of my other piercings and cover up my hair. shit i'm not even allowed to wear shorts and i'm outside all day. i do everything and anything they ask me to do. everyone there loves me, and apparently i'm one of the best workers. they are FUCKING holes. get the fuck over it. i don't get paid nearly enough for it to be that big of a deal. ::disclaimer:: for those who didn't know i finally got a job working for the baltimore maritime museum in downtown baltimore. come visit me sometime! it's by the aquarium. hopefully i'm going to see the audition in deleware on thursday. that would be lovely. sonar on friday as usual. lisa is out right now.. i'm bored as hell. i have to work in the morning but i'm not tired, probably gonna be one of those short sleep nights. boys night out is playing on may 23rd at the ottobar! fuck yes, i'm gonna try to go to the philly show as well the night before which would be awesome.
::edit:: okay. you could probably see this from two point of views. its 4:00 a.m. and you havent let anyone know where you were/are and don't intend to, and you don't expect them to be upset or wait up for you. and you don't try to make any contact with them. me being the caring person that i am decided to wait up for lisa.. then i started to get anxious. i tryed to go to sleep but still nothing. i look over at the time and realize its been hours since anyone had heard anything. so i get a hold of her, and ill skip the details but shes not coming back, and thought i wouldn't notice she was gone. thats a bad assumption. i'm not her boyfriend or anything but its my right to be worried when you don't hear from someone for hours at a time. granted it's not her job to go out of her way to let me know but it would have been nice, and made all of the difference in the world. now i sit here, early as hell, can't sleep, having to work in four hours. this day is going to be great.
With every part of mine
fall away with every bit of you
I miss me
give me some place to find
I'll meet cold everyday
think of all I need you around
but for now anyways
hands held tight around me leave me
hands held tight around me
with every part of mine
fall away with every bit of you
I miss me
give me some place to find
I'll meet cold everyday
think of all I need you around
but for now anyway
hands held tight around me leave me
hands held tight around
I'll hang neck tight from anything for you
skies most wanted good-byes
you missed my face again | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| poison the well in philly last night. i was pretty happy overall.
they played slice paper wrists, artists rendering of me, mid air love message, and a wish for wings that work off of the opposite of december, which really surprised me.
they also played rings from corona, and botchla from tear from the red. they played 3 songs off of you come before you, and 3 new songs. i'm excited for the new album.
horse the band was the lamest shit i've ever seen. the fall of troy was amazing. i'll be at the ottobar saturday for that show.
sonar tonight i think?
we shall see. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | underoath- in reguards to self | | Time: | 01:15 am |
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| i got insanely fucked up last nite. i needed it.
i think i got a job. which is exciting, ill defintely be in baltimore more often.
i can't wait for sonar on friday, last friday was awesome.
the receiving end of sirens is sunday, but they'll be playing without alex.
he fell down a flight of stairs and punctured his lung and broke his shoulder and ribs.
me and josh started working out yesterday, and me and lisa continued today.
i'm actually excited to run around the track tommorrow.
havent seen tina since her birthday last week and a brief second on friday..
and we've barely been talking lately. lame i guess.
but she hasn't really made an effort to try to talk to me.
i'm gonna see poison the well 3 times in the next two months, i'm pretty excited.
things are looking up. : ) | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | headbangers ball | | Time: | 10:55 pm |
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| as i thought, with good comes the bad. i hate drama, its really lame. i'm so nice, and i get walked on for it. if i do one little thing i get burned for it. i can't technically be with anyone. i'm damaged goods and have been for awhile. i am single, and whatever happens happens. i can't put forth the effort i can/should for a relationship wheither the reasoning is distance/seeing someone too much/fucking things up. i'm not going out and being a slut or a whore or anything else. i'm just being myself drunk/sober/stupid/rational, whatever. i don't have to explain myself to anyone but me. me having the heart and all i feel guilty about everything when i shouldn't or when i hurt someone and not realize it. i need to just get over it. i love everyone in my life to death. if i didn't have lisa, nick, and tina i would be lost as hell. i would have no where to live. i wouldn't have help. i wouldn't have anyone who cared. if i lost anyone of these people.. i would just die. i think i need to find a permanant place to live. i like living here.. but i dont want things to get sour. i think i'm close to getting a job. yay. and i have money.
i care. always. and forever. just realize it. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | TREOS- venona | | Time: | 07:15 am |
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| i feel a regression going on.
things have been too good lately.
i have money, a place to live, and a job soon.
something bads gonna happen.. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | deftones | | Time: | 10:57 pm |
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| the last couple days have been pretty swell.
i finally got my taxes done.
i'm getting way more back then i thought.
i went to my moms last nite.
i'm glad i get to see her and little sister more often.
me and tina hung out, we were lazy fucks haha.
i don't need anymore sleep for the next week.
came back to lisa's tonight.
i think i know what i wanna do for my tattoo now.
here's some pix.
 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | remembering never- the goddamn busy signal | | Time: | 12:05 pm | | Current Mood: | happy |
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| i was waiting to post this entry until i got the pictures from friday, but now that i have them..
we went to the ferret records tour in philly on thursday. (zao, remembering never, madball, scarlet, the banner.) it was hard as hell to find a parking space near tla. we finally just gave up and payed for parking. the show was amazing. remembering never never fails to impress. the next day, i went to the same show only this time in baltimore. it was alot more exciting this time. i got to be in the front most of the time so it was fun. pete stuck the mic in my face every 5 seconds, it was awesome, and scarlet has to be one of the best bands live i've ever seen. after the show i went and hung out with my friends and then somehow managed to run into scarlet. so i sat down and talked to them for a long time, they are pretty cool guys. i was backstage and i got to meet the singer from zao too. can it get any better? but then as luck would have it i find pete, and the rest of the guys from rn, and they are happy to take pictures and talk with me. they are down ass guys, who are much more laid back then most people think. it was a good nite. anyway, here are some pix.
 | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | from first to last- ...and we all have a hell | | Time: | 02:29 am | | Current Mood: | grumpy |
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| | so last nite was reggie and the full effect. james dewees is the funniest man alive. fluxation and common denominator, his other two projects, were hilarious. he talked about fucking a bloody toaster and threw a condom into the crowd haha. i got to seee erika too. i miss that girl <3. the bad part about last night is that all of my sisters plus some of my stuff got stolen out of her friends car outside of the 930 club.. fucking lame, i know its a bad neighborhood but come on, people are fucking lame as hell. i just sat around all day today.. i thought i was gonna do something but i guess it fell through. i dont even know. tonight is the ferret records tour: remembering never, zao, madball, scarlet, and the banner. i'm fucking excited as hell. same show friday night at sonar. this makes up for the remembering never fiasco in january by far. oh p.s. i can't wait for warped tour/treos/poison the well. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | saosin- sleepers | | Time: | 12:07 pm | | Current Mood: | calm |
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| i need to start looking for a job again. being moneyless isn't so fun.
but on a brigther note reggie and the full effect is tonight.
and the ferret records tour is thursday and friday. i'm excited. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | thrice- stand and feel your worth | | Time: | 01:58 am |
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| not such a long entry. i've been entirely too bored the whole weeeeek.
sonar tommorrrrow. and i'm a music pirate haha.
arrrrrr. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | from first to last- world war me | | Time: | 04:54 am |
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| the new from first to last isnt so bad. there are some good songs on here.
its alot darker then the first album.
ive really been into them and as i lay dying lately, and i think the taste of chaos just furthered that.
so hears what im into right now:
thrice- vheissu
deftones- white pony
a perfect circle- thirteenth step
the audition- controversy loves company
remembering never- god save us
greeley estates- caveat emptor
from first to last- heroine
as i lay dying- frail words collapse/shadows are security
the receiving end of sirens- between the heart and the synapse
boys night out- trainwreck
engine down- demure/engine down | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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digitaldyslexia's journal
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